For context, refer to Day 64 - Making Choices
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to always choose the path of escape
when making a decision, instead of basing the decision on the principle of what
would be best for all.
I forgive myself
that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to question this constant decision
to escape, as a form of automation where I choose it always, regardless of
whether it will result in consequences.
I forgive myself
that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to investigate my motives behind the
decisions that I make, looking at the effects it may have on others or even
myself in time.
I forgive myself
that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that if my
starting point on going on 'the path of least resistance' to really escape, I
am in fact making the choice to avoid facing myself and essentially 'giving up'.
I forgive myself
that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that when
I choose the self-interested path to escape without question in order to avoid
facing myself and in that moment, I am in fact abdicating my choice to a decision
based on fear (fear of facing myself).
I forgive myself
that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that
whether it be now or later, I will still have to face myself and the longer I
put off facing myself, the more abuse will be done unto this world and
ultimately myself.
I forgive myself
that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that in
making the choice to always be comfortable, I am simply limiting my
expressions/actions/movements to that of a narrow stream of comfort.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed the petty fears (of rejection from others / of
not being comfortable) to stand in the way of standing up and doing what is
best for all, so that I may do what I would like another to do for me if they
too had the capacity to take on that responsibility.
I forgive myself
that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that this
world is still a mess, where a few live extravagant lives on the backs of those
that are impoverished and the environment is being destroyed, and by becoming complacent
through only making decisions based in comfort, I am choosing to be ignorant to
all of these facts and basically saying that I can't make a change because I'm
only one person, not realizing that this is still a choice that will shape and
make the world.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to procrastinate my process of
investigating and correcting the self-abuse that still exists within myself,
simply waiting for the consequences to accumulate before I do anything , in the
realization that it will be too late when the consequences do finally show.
I forgive myself
that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that each
small choice that initially seems difficult to make, is actually quite easy
once you make the decision to do it, and direct oneself in what is required to
be done.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to make decisions based on having
resistances or a 'bad feeling' about something, not investigating the origins
of the resistance or 'bad feelings', simply following them blindly with no
attempt to get to know myself and why I may react like this.
I forgive myself
that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to simply walk through the heaviness
and resistance of completing a task I know will be beneficial to myself and
others.
