Day 37 - Fear of uncomfortable situations (Part 3)

For context, please refer to:

Day 35 - Fear of uncomfortable situations (Part 1)

Day 36 - Fear of uncomfortable situations (Part 2)

 

When and as I see myself move out of my comfort zone with another person, and I start to go into fear – I stop and I breathe and I relax and feel my body remaining here as the expression of who I am.  I see/realize/understand that through being uncomfortable in a moment, I may actually trigger another person to be uncomfortable and perpetuate the cycle of uncomfortability.  I see/realize/understand that it is possible that there is no need to go into fear and to be uncomfortable, as I can simply live and experience life in the moment in the physical free of fear as the expression of who I am.  – I commit myself to support myself to stabalize myself in the moment through relaxing the body and using breathe as well as focusing on the physical touch/sensation of the physical like my fingers and toes when faced with an apparently uncomfortable situation.  I commit myself to stay present and in the moment with the other person, and to really listen to the words they speak.  I commit myself to note the trigger points on another person that make me feel uncomfortable, such as when their eyes get bigger and their tone of voice goes up.  I commit myself to support others that may also feel uncomfortable in the moment, by supporting myself to remain stable and here, simply listening to their words.

When and as I see myself go into blame of another person for ‘making me feel uncomfortable’ – I immediately stop the thought and breathe in the moment, until any energy has subsided. I see/realize/understand that the fear and uncomfortableness was always existent within myself, and it was only when the moment triggered it, did the energetic pattern of uncomfort emerge.  I see/realize/understand that it is not actually the other person that is ‘making me’ feel this way, and the belief that there must be something wrong with them to make me feel this way, only serves to project blame and deflect the real source of the fear and uncomfortableness. I commit myself to stop any and all blame of another of how I feel and to take absolute responsibility in the realization that I am the creator of my own reality.  I commit myself to note the trigger points of my uncomfortableness and to investigate and delete every last one of them through self-forgiveness and self-corrective application.

When and as I see myself go into judgment of another of being less than, for appearing to be uncomfortable, I stop and I breathe and I remain in the moment as the expression of who I am.  I see/realize/understand that when I judge another as less than, I am actually separating myself from a part of myself, and judging myself as less than, as I too have gotten uncomfortable in certain situations.  I see/realize/understand that that I am equal to and one with the person, as they are 99.9% similar to my own DNA and are a reflection of my own self.  I commit myself to stop any and all judgment of another person for appearing to be ‘over-compensating’ and uncomfortable in the moment, and support and treat them as I would like to be treated.  I commit myself to place myself in their shoes to see why they may be uncomfortable in the moment to understand and ultimately equalize myself with them, so that I can support them as I would like to be supported.

When and as I go into the fear of the thought of ‘walking into an uncomfortable situation’, I stop and I breathe and I remain in the moment as the expression of who I am.  I see/realize/understand that when I am in fear, of a future situation, I am not actually here and am in fact participating in an imaginary world within my own mind in separation from reality.  I see/realize/understand that getting stressed and going into fear about a future situation is completely pointless, because the future event may not even be like what was played out in the mind, and fearing a future event won’t actually make things better, and will only serve to create more separation within self and thus more consequence.  I commit myself to support myself to stop any fear and thoughts of a future event being uncomfortable, by remaining here in the moment within breath and in my physical body in the expression of who I am. 

When and as I see myself contemplating and leaning to avoiding ‘what I think’ will be an uncomfortable situation – I stop and I breathe and I remain in the moment as the expression of who I am.  I see/realize/understand that when avoid uncomfortable situations, I am actually placing limitations on myself, and forcing myself to live within the tiny confines of a boxed life with strict limits where there is no expansion possible within myself.  I see/realize/understand that uncomfortableness is simply an energetic experience with a specific energy signature attached to it, and does not have anything to do with fear.   I see/realize/understand that when I accept and allow this uncomfortable energetic feeling to exist within myself, I am actually allowing a smoke screen to persist that clouds my vision as to the real nature of this world.  I see/realize/understand that facing an uncomfortable situation and moving outside of ones comfort zone gives self an opportunity for expansion.  I commit myself to become comfortable with uncomfortable situations and to face them front and center at every opportunity that I get.

When and as I see myself move out of my comfort zone with another person, and I start to go into fear – I stop and I breathe and I relax and feel my body remaining here as the expression of who I am.  I see/realize/understand that through being uncomfortable in a moment, I may actually trigger another person to be uncomfortable and perpetuate the cycle of uncomfortability.  I see/realize/understand that it is possible that there is no need to go into fear and to be uncomfortable, as I can simply live and experience life in the moment in the physical free of fear as the expression of who I am.     – I commit myself to support myself to stabalize myself in the moment through relaxing the body and using breathe as well as focusing on the physical touch/sensation of the physical like my fingers and toes when faced with an apparently uncomfortable situation.  I commit myself to stay present and in the moment with the other person, and to really listen to the words they speak.  I commit myself to note the trigger points on another person that make me feel uncomfortable, such as when their eyes get bigger and their tone of voice goes up.  I commit myself to support others that may also feel uncomfortable in the moment, by supporting myself to remain stable and here, simply listening to their words.

When and as I see myself go into blame of another person for ‘making me feel uncomfortable’ – I immediately stop the thought and breathe in the moment, until any energy has subsided. I see/realize/understand that the fear and uncomfortableness was always existent within myself, and it was only when the moment triggered it, did the energetic pattern of uncomfort emerge.  I see/realize/understand that it is not actually the other person that is ‘making me’ feel this way, and the belief that there must be something wrong with them to make me feel this way, only serves to project blame and deflect the real source of the fear and uncomfortableness. I commit myself to stop any and all blame of another of how I feel and to take absolute responsibility in the realization that I am the creator of my own reality.  I commit myself to note the trigger points of my uncomfortableness and to investigate and delete every last one of them through self-forgiveness and self-corrective application.

When and as I see myself go into judgment of another of being less than, for appearing to be uncomfortable, I stop and I breathe and I remain in the moment as the expression of who I am.  I see/realize/understand that when I judge another as less than, I am actually separating myself from a part of myself, and judging myself as less than, as I too have gotten uncomfortable in certain situations.  I see/realize/understand that that I am equal to and one with the person, as they are 99.9% similar to my own DNA and are a reflection of my own self.  I commit myself to stop any and all judgment of another person for appearing to be ‘over-compensating’ and uncomfortable in the moment, and support and treat them as I would like to be treated.  I commit myself to place myself in their shoes to see why they may be uncomfortable in the moment to understand and ultimately equalize myself with them, so that I can support them as I would like to be supported.

When and as I go into the fear of the thought of ‘walking into an uncomfortable situation’, I stop and I breathe and I remain in the moment as the expression of who I am.  I see/realize/understand that when I am in fear, of a future situation, I am not actually here and am in fact participating in an imaginary world within my own mind in separation from reality.  I see/realize/understand that getting stressed and going into fear about a future situation is completely pointless, because the future event may not even be like what was played out in the mind, and fearing a future event won’t actually make things better, and will only serve to create more separation within self and thus more consequence.  I commit myself to support myself to stop any fear and thoughts of a future event being uncomfortable, by remaining here in the moment within breath and in my physical body in the expression of who I am. 

When and as I see myself contemplating and leaning to avoiding ‘what I think’ will be an uncomfortable situation – I stop and I breathe and I remain in the moment as the expression of who I am.  I see/realize/understand that when avoid uncomfortable situations, I am actually placing limitations on myself, and forcing myself to live within the tiny confines of a boxed life with strict limits where there is no expansion possible within myself.  I see/realize/understand that uncomfortableness is simply an energetic experience with a specific energy signature attached to it, and does not have anything to do with fear.   I see/realize/understand that when I accept and allow this uncomfortable energetic feeling to exist within myself, I am actually allowing a smoke screen to persist that clouds my vision as to the real nature of this world.  I see/realize/understand that facing an uncomfortable situation and moving outside of ones comfort zone gives self an opportunity for expansion.  I commit myself to become comfortable with uncomfortable situations and to face them front and center at every opportunity that I get.

 

Day 36 - Fear of uncomfortable situations

This is a continuation of Day 35 – Fear of uncomfortablesituations

In the previous post, I talked about an encounter with a co-worker, where I felt uncomfortable about the whole situation, and so first of all quickly judged the person for being less than and somehow ‘just not quite right’, and then hoped that I didn’t have to ever cross path’s with him again.  In the moment I was ‘snooty’ about the situation, and definitely not sympathetic, empathetic, understanding at all as to this other person, and why I felt uncomfortable in the moment.  I did not take into consideration that this person represents a mirror to myself, in the principles of equality and oneness, and is a part that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from.

Self-forgiveness statements:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that I am equal to and one with all others in this world, as I am made from the same earth, and are 99.9% genetically the exact same as all others in my world.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that all others in my world represent a part of myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from someone that I judge as being ‘different’ or seeminingly off, instead of accepting and allowing myself to see/realize/understand that my judgment is based on a belief of what my own socially acceptable behaviour ought to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that a person should not embrace in a handshake longer than 3 pumps, unless they share an important relationship, as defined by my own self-accepted and allowed beliefs of what it means to have an important relationship with another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into fear, when in a handshake for more than 3 pumps with another that I define as someone that I don’t share an important relationship with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define some relationships as more important than others, instead of accepting and allowing myself to see/realize/understand that I am equal to and one with all in my world, and therefore am simply having relationships with only myself and there all relationships are equally important, and thus, none are more important.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to consider that it is possible that the other person holding my hand in a shake may have different acceptable social behaviours, and a longer embrace is quite normal to them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the thought of ‘being trapped forever in a handshake embrace with someone that I am uncomfortable being around.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the thought of ‘being trapped forever in a handshake embrace with someone that I am uncomfortable being around’, and the negative emotion of fear.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand why it is exactly that I feel uncomfortable around this particular co-worker.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge this co-worker as less than for apparently being responsible for making me feel uncomfortable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself blame my co-worker for making me feel uncomfortable, instead of accepting and allowing myself to see/realize/understand that I am ultimately responsible for my own experiences through what I accept and allow, and thus commit myself to taking responsibility for being uncomfortable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the social gestures of my co-worker as less than, and go into a feeling of fear out of my comfort zone, instead of accepting and allowing myself to remain stable and listen to the words that he speaks.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into an uncomfortableness upon seeing that I ‘just don’t click with that other person’ and ‘were just not in sync with each other’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place limitations on myself by only gravitating towards people that I apparently ‘get along with’ or ‘feel comfortable with’, instead of accepting and allowing myself to see/realize/understand that I am equal to and one with all in my world, and those that I feel uncomfortable around, may still show me a part of myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing a part of myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that I most likely have made another feel uncomfortable in an encounter, for reasons that may have been outside of my control.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that I may have made another feel uncomfortable, because I may not have felt comfortable in that moment within myself and was acting on ‘how I thought I should act in the moment’, instead of accepting and allowing myself to express myself as the expression of who I am in the moment.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to support myself to stop the uncomfortable feeling within myself and remain stable and here, when interacting with others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into fear, when believing that I just came into an ‘awkward’ situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define ‘pulling out of a handshake when another was not ready to do so’ as an awkward situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the thought of ‘having a so called awkward situation or being in a situation where I feel uncomfortable’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the thought of ‘being in an awkard situation or a situation where I feel uncomfortable’, and the negative emotion of fear.

Thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

Day 35 - Fear of uncomfortable situations

Today I crossed paths with a co-worker that I hadn’t seen since before the Christmas Holidays and I was geared up to go through the same monotonous routine that I had already gone through with other co-workers.  At some point in the conversation I thought ‘there’s something off about this man’, as if judging and pitying him.

 It all started when he stuck out his hand to shake mine.  It seemed a bit odd, in the moment to offer a handshake, but I politely obliged.  And as I was ready to leave the handshake, I noticed very subtly that he did not let go, and so I again politely obliged and didn’t let go either, and with this grip we started doing the Christmas Holidays talk.  It seemed like he was really excited about what I did over Christmas, and the whole time I was wondering ‘when the hell he’s going to start letting go of my hand’, in an almost fear.  The fact is that I felt really uncomfortable. I didn’t want to shake his hand anymore, so I decided in the moment to pull away.  It was kind of awkward really, and I felt like I offended him, because as I pulled away, I watched my hind kind of twist and shrink to manoeuvre out of the grip, and his hand seemed to just want to hang on, but couldn’t.  

I wondered in the moment whether or not I offended him, and whether or not he noticed that I was uncomfortable about the whole hold in the shake.  It seemed like he was very reluctant to let go of this shake, and I immediately thought that was odd, and that it was a sign of weakness on his part. 

I started telling him about my very uneventful boring Christmas holiday hanging out with my dogs, and he just seemed to be so interested about everything that I was saying.  Asking me what kind of dogs I had, and how big they were, and the whole thing seemed just unnecessary.  Just not casual, and not comfortable.  His voice and the way he talks is strange to me to.  The way that he pronounces his words and the style in which he says things makes me slightly uncomfortable.  And I don’t know why.

Eventually, to top the entire experience off, he put is hand up in the air, showing me that he wanted to ‘give me five’.  And so again I obliged and again, it seemed like an awkward ‘five’ that he gave me, as the hand slap wasn’t’ very square, and we were just not in unison with it.  The timing was off.

And all I could think of in this moment is ‘there is something off about this man’.  And I was not comfortable about the whole encounter.  I thought it’s obviously that it’s not me, because I don’t have a problem like this with other people.  And really I just stick to the people that make me feel comfortable.  I actually hoped to avoid him again. 

One thing that I should mention is that he is from a completely different country, speaks a completely different first language and most likely grew up with different customs and culture.

Who am I to judge that he is ‘off’ or weird?  Maybe if I went to his native country and tried to live there, my customs and culture that I grew up with would show to them, and they would say the same to me.

I say all of this now after reflecting on it, however in the moment, all I could think about is how uncomfortable this felt, and that there is something wrong with him, as if to project some kind of label on him that because ‘I felt uncomfortable’, he must have made me feel this way and is thus weird.  I see that I am very quick to blame/label/define others in a negative way in a moment where I am not in my comfort zone.

What I see is that I am afraid of the unknown and what I don't understand.   I'm afraid of this other person that may not have the same social customs that I have, yet is still an expression.  The bottom line is that I am accepting and allowing a fear of another person's expression towards me that I'm not used to, and am reacting in a way that looks to blame this person, and place them lower than me because I think their weird.  The only thing is though, is that they're just like me.  They have two eyes, two feet to stand on, and we're also born from a mother in this world, and will at some point, just like me, die.  

Instead of resisting any future encounters of this person, could I not try to get to know him and his culture, so that I can understand what else in the world goes on, instead of being uncomfortable and shrinking back into my shell.

In the next blog I will apply self-forgiveness on this point.