Day 22 - Finding a compass to yourself through a co-worker

I judged a few people today.

My co-worker seems like he just loves to hear himself talk.  We just go around and around with the same issue.  He doesn’t have any consideration of me and whether or not the information that he is telling to me is of any value to me or even a waste of my time.  I’ve got more important stuff to deal with.  How can he not have this consideration for me.  He must be less than.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that in judging my Co-worker as less than, I am actually separating myself from a part of myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my Co-worker and the things that I judge him for, instead of accepting and allowing myself to see/realize/understand that all of the things that I see in my Co-worker, are actually a reflection of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project blame on my Co-worker for making me feel a certain way instead of accepting and allowing myself to see/realize/understand that I am in fact responsible for the way that I feel.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my Co-worker as less than for appearing to not have diplomatic skills in the way to talk to a person with tact, such as leaving emotion off the table, not talking in circles and understanding what it is that I want from the conversation.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that when I judge my co-worker as less than, I am in fact judging myself as less than, because I have acted in the same manner in being emotional, talking in circles and not coming to solutions, and not considering what another person wants to understand or wants from a conversation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get frustrated, after I realized that my conversation with my co-worker lasted an hour and I was late for my next meeting.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that I am in fact responsible for being late to my next meeting, and being frustrated shows the self-dishonesty within myself in not being the self-directive principle.  Within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that within the moment I could have just as easily said to my co-worker ‘I have another meeting, we can resolve this later’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be late for another appointment because I feared that my co-worker would be offended if I cut the conversation short without the conversation coming to a ‘natural’ close where both of us felt like we said our ‘piece’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the thought of ‘offending my co-worker, by cutting the conversation short before the conversation came to a ‘natural’ closing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the thought of ‘offending my co-worker, by cutting the conversation short before it seemed to come to a ’natural’ closing, and the negative emotion of fear.  Thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my co-worker would actually get offended if I told him that I had a prior commitment.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to place myself in the shoes of my co-worker, to see/realize/understand that I wouldn’t be offended if another had a prior engagement.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that I would probably be more offended if somebody was late to a pre-planned appointment because they didn’t cut the call short and continue it another time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the thought of ‘cutting a conversation short, and leaving it unfinished to pick up again another time’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the thought of ‘cutting a conversation short, and leaving it unfinished to pick up again another time’, and the negative emotion of fear, thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.