For context please
refer to:
In the last post I
focused on self-forgiveness
on the topic of communication
with my partner.
In this post, I will create the script for myself for future
situations where I am communicating
with my partner, so that we can get on the same page as each other, and not
have to proliferate any conflict
further.
When and as I see
myself get angry and frustrated and blame my partner for not listening to me, I
stop and I breathe
and I remain in the moment as the expression
of who I am.
I see/realize/understand
that in blaming my partner in frustration, I am actually showing myself what I
am in fact doing that is self-dishonest, which is actually not listening to
her. I see/realize/understand that in these moments, I have already conned
myself into believing that my belief/opinion/perception
is right, and that what she is saying is wrong
and misguided/misdirected and generally just missed
the mark. I see/realize/understand that blaming somebody else for the same
thing that I am doing, is the highest form of self-manipulation that I can
impose on myself, showing me just how delusional I really am. I commit
myself to use the 'queue's' of blaming another to support
myself in seeing
what I am actually self-dishonestly doing in my own life
to others. I commit
myself to stop any form of blame towards somebody in the moment, especially
towards my partner in apparently not listening to me, and instead take
self-responsibility for that same action. I commit myself to actually listen
100% to every word
that my partner is saying in the moment. I commit myself to stop trying to
CON-vince myself and my partner that my opinion/belief/perspective is correct,
and instead place myself in my partner's shoes, as I listen to the words
that she speaks.
When and as I see
myself dismiss my partner as irrational and wrong, I stop and I breathe
and I remain in the moment as the expression
of who I am. I see/realize/understand that in dismissing my partner as
irrational and wrong, I am subtly judging
and separating
myself from my partner and thus will not ever get to the point of 'being on the
same page' in absolute understanding and agreement
when taking this approach. I see/realize/understand that in conning myself into
believing I am right, I am sabotaging any chance of having not only a relationship
with another person, but also having a relationship
with myself in self-honesty.
I see/realize/understand that without common sense evidence of what is best for
all, it is impossible to say what is best for all, and may take investigation
of reality.
I commit myself to stop the judgment
of my partner as being
irrational and consider her perspective to be able to place myself in her shoes
effectively. I commit myself to stop the belief of my opinion being right in
the absence of common sense evidence and only forming my opinion and belief
based on what I feel or the opinions of others.
When and as I see
myself get 'defensive' or getting upset in seeing my partner appearing to be
aggressive and angry towards me, I stop and I breathe and I remain in the
moment as the expression of who I am. I see/realize/understand that in 'taking
it personally' when my partner is being angry towards me, I am showing to
myself how I abdicate
my self-directive principle in accepting
and allowing myself to go into automatic reactions
through a certain trigger, instead of choosing
to remain in stability
here
to effectively direct the situation in what is best for all. I
see/realize/understand that by participating in automatic energetic
reactions
on the trigger of my partner reacting,
I am reinforcing the habit of reacting
in us both, which prevents us to moving
towards any solutions in
stability.
I see/realize/understand that when I maintain my stability in the moment, and
stop the reactions,
I am able to effectively direct the situation towards understand and a solution
that is best for both of us. I see/realize/understand that I may not actually
be the source of my partners directed anger and reactions
towards me, as there are most likely other things in her world that have added
up over time,
causing her to 'boil-over'. I see/realize/understand that her 'venting' just
happens to be directed at me because I spend the most time
with her out of most people in the
world. I see/realize/understand that I if react to her reacting, I am
basically saying that her reactions
are justified, as I am accepting and allowing the exact same venting towards
her too. - I commit myself to breathe in the moments when moving into reaction
to maintain my stability, so that the situation can be directed effectively. I
commit myself to realize in these moments, that no solution or change
will actually be reached if I accept and allow myself to move into reactions
when she reacts. I commit myself to not take her venting personally in the
realization that because I spend the most amount of time with
her in her life,
this venting is most likely going to be directed at me. I commit myself to be
the example here
of how I would like others to express towards me, which is not to take things
out on me.
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