For context, please refer to the last post:
In the last post, I
looked at all of the things that I was blaming my partner
for doing and took responsibility
for each and every one of them, because why else would I blame another person,
if not to distract my attention away from the nasty things that I was actually
doing.
So they were:
1) I am not actually
listening to her 100%, and really only hearing
what I want to
2) I am actually
believing that my opinion is the RIGHT one, and she is WRONG,
unless she conforms her beliefs to my opinions
3) I am taking her reactions
towards me personally
I forgive myself
that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that I am not
actually fully 100% listening to my partner, and only hearing
the things that I want to hear from her.
I forgive myself
that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to fully listen to my partner and
the words
that she is speaking
to me, so that I could at the very least understand where she is coming from
and get on the same page as her, so that an agreement
may be possible.
I forgive myself
that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that I use
blame towards my partner, so that I will distract myself from seeing
the terrible habits that I perpetuate.
I forgive myself
that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that that
in which I blame my partner for, I am actually doing myself.
I forgive myself
that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that I
actually believe that the opinions that I hold, that are solely based on my own
perspective, which do not take into consideration any other perspectives, are
the RIGHT opinions and actual truth as to
the way something or someone should be.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my partner for being
'self-interested' and believing that her opinion is the RIGHT one, and that my
opinion on something is the WRONG one, instead of accepting
and allowing myself to see/realize/understand that even before going into a
conversation
with my partner, I have already convinced myself that my own opinions are
correct.
I forgive myself
that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that I get
defensive when I don't agree with my partner when she tells me 'the way I
should be' , because it goes against or challenges
the Rightness of my own opinion of 'how I should be'.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my opinions are always
RIGHT, instead of accepting and allowing myself to see/realize/understand that
my opinions only consider my own self-interest
and do not take into consideration anyone else's perspective.
I forgive myself
that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to place myself within my partners
shoes and to actually take their opinion within myself from there viewpoint.
I forgive myself
that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that the
only way that I can come to an agreement with my partner is if I place myself
within my partners shoes and look at it from their perspective.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to take
it personally when my partner doesn't listen to me, and instead tries to
attack my credibility somehow.
I forgive myself
that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that when
I take things personally, I in fact am going into a character of
'victimization' from the starting point of self-interest and trying to get
sympathy, which prevents any communication.'
To be continued...
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