Day 11 – Let’s talk about sex

My partner and I have not had sex in about 4 days.  I really want to because I enjoy it and afterwards, I feel relaxed.  If I don’t have sex then I believe that my body is not getting nourished.  I  believe that sex is food for the body and one is more rejuvenated and able to take on the world if they have had the opportunity to express sexually in the physical.  Sex to me feels good when I orgasm, like I have released a lot of tension.  I feel cleared and not so wound up with my own stress.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that my partner is unstable and needs the stability of myself to go forward.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I don’t have sex than my body won’t be nourished and things will be more difficult to manage in my day.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that I don’t feel good if I haven’t had sex in a few days is because I have accumulated energy within myself through participating within the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse sex in self-interest so that I can feel a certain way without any regard for the physical, or what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to manipulate my partner into having sex with me, when she does not want to, so that I can get my way in self-interest.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to support my partner in a way that I would like to be supported if she did not want to have sex.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to consider my partner and the stage that she is at in her own process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the thought of ‘my partner not allowing us to have sex for extended periods of time’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the thought of ‘my partner not allowing us to have sex for extended periods of time’, and the negative emotion of fear, thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use manipulation tactics to play on her weaker character flaws in order to try and avoid my fear of us not having sex for long periods of time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the thought of ‘if I don’t have sex, I will be more pent up and I won’t be able to think clearly or interact socially as well and my performance at work will go down’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the thought of ‘if I don’t have sex, I will be more pent up in my mind and I won’t be able to think clearly or interact socially with others as well, and my performance at work will go down’.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that my ‘performance’ at work is really like a stage show, where I play a character that tries to impress those that have a stake in deciding whether or not I will keep my job.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the thought of ‘my performance at work not impressing those that have a stake in whether or not I will continue to remain employed (my bosses)’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the thought of ‘my performance at work not impressing those that have a stake in whether or not I will remain employed (my bosses)’, and the negative emotion of fear, thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that even if my performance does not impress my bosses, I will still be here in the physical as life, except if I go into the possession of fear.

When and as I see myself go into fear over not having sex for an extended period of time, I stop and I breathe and I remain in the moment as the expression of who I am. 

I see/realize/understand that I am here, and when I go into the thought of not having sex, I am taking myself away from here, and creating separation and consequences within my world.

I see/realize/understand that even though sexual expression may be food for the body, a body can function easily simply with food, water, sleep, and shelter/clothing.

I commit myself to supporting myself to remain here in the moment and stopping the fear of not having sex, by following my breathe and realizing that people survive all of the time without having sex.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the backchat ‘my partner is destroying me and her by not having sex’, instead of accepting and allowing myself to see/realize/understand the irony that when I accept and allow the backchat as myself, I am actually sabotaging and destroying our relationship and myself at the same time.

I commit myself to stop the backchat in the moment of my partner not wanting to have sex with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the thought of ‘my partner will not agree to have sex with me’, and the negative emotion of anger, by accepting and allowing myself to define anger within the thought of my partner will not have sex with me when I want it, outside and separate from myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/relaize/understand where it is that I am being self-dishonest, through accepting and allowing anger.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that I am equal to and one with my partner, and if I was having resistances to sex and was stressed out, the last thing that I would want is my partner breathing down my neck trying to manipulate me into having sex.

I commit myself to treat my partner as I would like to be treated, and stopping the manipulation and anger in trying to have sex, and remaining patient and supportive the way that I would like to be.