I type my name into google, and find that what pops out is a
link to a place where you can find most of my posted blogs. To me, this is a problem. My blogs are fairly intimate and allow people
to look deep within myself on points of self-reflection. My blogs represent almost a secret diary
where I express my fears and weaknesses.
Having this all available to the outside world, I get scared of who can
and would read it. Mostly the fear is in
relation to – what if my boss or someone wishing to give me a job offer looks
at it? My fear is that I will ‘miss out’
on an opportunity for a certain career and ultimately that I will ‘miss-out’ on
making money. As if someone is going to
Google my name / read my blogs and then base their decision of hiring/firing me
on what they read and how they interpret it or feel about what I wrote.
Also, I believe that
their opinion of my blogs will be that of disgust or fear towards it. I see that this was something that I would
like to investigate, because the decision to take down all of my blogs would
also mean that others that are not related to the outcome of my career will in
a sense ‘miss-out’ as well in being able to see inside another person and know
that someone else has the exact same fear as them. In this sense, they may be able to see
problems that they are facing from a different perspective and get some insight
in how to change this. At the very least
they could take comfort in the fact of knowing they are not alone.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
fear the thought of ‘missing out’ on a career opportunity or making money,
within the thought of someone googling my name and finding all of my blogs –
within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
automatically believe that those that hold the fate of my career would base
their decision on ‘how they felt’ when reading my blogs, which would be in the
negative, instead of accepting and allowing myself to see/realize/understand that
most people involved in hiring are more interested in what my actual
credentials and previous work experience is.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to
see/realize/understand that even if I did get fired from my job or ‘missed out’
on an opportunity, the current economy situation in my region is that of
abundance and would most likely be able to find a new opportunity.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself
to see/realize/understand that the rules and policy’s at the company that I
work for surrounding dismissal, would not allow for a dismissal based on the opinions
and judgments of another when reading a blog as it would leave an opening for ‘wrongful
dissmissal’
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself
to consider whether or not my blogs go against company rules and policies for dismissal.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear
of missing out on a career opportunity to dictate my expression and ultimately
the publishing of my blogs, instead of accepting and allowing myself to be the
self-directive principle and use common sense in making a decision of whether
or not to publish my blogs.
When and as I see myself go into the fear of publishing a
blog – I stop and I breathe and I remain in the moment as the expression of who
I am – I see/realize/understand that
employers are not so much interested in the personal lives of individuals and
really interested in credentials and past work experience. I see/realize/understand that by publishing
my blogs, another person is given the opportunity to see honest self-reflection
from another individual that may be supportive to their own lives. I see/realize/understand that there are many
opportunities in the world and ‘missing-out’ on a career opportunity does not necessarily
have to be a ‘bad thing’, as the value of life is not based in career
opportunities.
I commit myself to support myself to stop the fear of
publishing blogs, by remaining here and breathing in the moment when I see fear
arises.
I commit myself to use practical common sense and consider
others when deciding whether or not to publish something on the internet.
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