Day 52 - Abandoning trust

Currently I am walking the Desteni 'I' Process course, which is unlike any course I've ever been involved with. It's great because 'its all about ME' lol. The assignments have a general outline, which show me how to learn about myself..

What I am realizing, is that I have created a great deal of patterns in the way I live my life. People say that we are creatures of habits, and I think that's true for all life that exists on earth. Animals hunt in the same places and we all do the same things. This helps simplify life in a way, like when we need to get food for instance, we just do what has worked in the past, like go to the grocery store, and more often than not, we will just buy the same things, because it worked out last time. There might be a few tweaks here and there, but generally for most people, life ticks along in a predictable way.

So one of the patterns that I noticed in myself was the way specific way that I would act when possessing or owning something that I absolutely loved and cherished. And then the nastiness within myself that would ensue when that ownership was threatened by another person.

The pattern I noticed was first started out by getting a positive feeling in 'owning' a particular object. And this usually happens to most people when they go to the mall, and see something they like, and just have to get it. What I realize, is that within that positive feeling, I have mistakenly 'full-filled' myself and believed that I am not better off for having this object, and in a way I have created a self-definition based on the ownership of the product. Having it in 'my possession' and having access to it exclusively whenever I want somehow can create this warm full-filled feeling.

Then comes the threatening of it being taken away. If somebody came along and asked to borrow this cherished object, right after you just bought it, there is always some form of hesitation and resistance to that I notice. Whether its a new cell phone, new car, or anything that you have defined as being 'valuable', fear automatically will come up. And why? ...Because we do not trust most people to take care of our possession. It's a fear of loss essentially, and usually that fear of loss is more powerful than actual common sense. In other words we automatically think 'the worst' will happen. What if this? Or what if that happens? And we are unwilling to take the chance, even though the odds are extremely low that something would happen. And because of that, we make the agreement with each other, that I will have my own, and you will have your own. And the end result of nobody trusting each other, is a whole lot of redundancy.

I see this redundancy in everyday life, with things like door-locks and even a lot of work positions at my company. We hire contract analysts to get better deals on products and services from sellers, because we don't trust that we will always get the best price from them. From past experiences, I see this is true with contractors that take advantage of situations if not held accountable. And so the employee, adds the role of 'vigilante' to protect the company's interests, which are profit of course. If we are able to stop the siphoning of money from the company, or even improve upon the siphoning of money from others, we are considered valuable. That is how our value is assessed.

I act the same way as my company in that I am always trying to stretch my dollar and protect my money so that I can have more for less. And this self-interest is the root of the breakdown of trust and why we accept every redundancy like a door-lock to protect the things that we believe are rightfully ours, when in the beginning they originally came freely from the earth and are made of the same substance as our own bodies. The trust will only be restored, when stop the value of ourselves in what we apparently own, and instead start valuing life before it dries up.

There is a group that is taking on this epidemic of self-interest and can support a person to seeing their true potential as life here, so if you're interested in discovering who you actually are, what are the reasons you are here and why do you do the things you do, click here.