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Monday 17 March 2014

Day 55 - Character Development through seeking validation from others



For context, please refer to:




When and as I see myself seeking validation and positive re-enforcement of others, I stop and I breathe and I remain in the moment as the expression of who I am. I see/realize/understand that I have chosen this specific person to get validation and positive re-enforcement from them in complete self-interest, for if it weren't to somehow gain, then it would not matter who in the world I would need to get positive re-enforcement from. I see/realize/understand that I choose this person to get validation from, because I judge them as more than. I see/realize/understand that I have separated myself from this specific person that I am attempting to seek validation from, and am not in fact having an actual relationship with them, but instead attempting to full-fill my self-abdicating self-interest to 'feel good'. I see/realize/understand that in attempting to get validation, positive re-enforcement from another, I am in fact exposing that I live in separation from my own self within 'lack', as I apparently am not full-filled within myself and must seek my happiness externally in separation. I see/realize/understand that by defining my happiness and full-fillment in getting validation from others, through trying to please them, I am in fact severely limiting my expression and dancing around any disagreements or potential conflict that may need to be worked out. I see/realize/understand that avoiding conflict, to 'keep the peace (piece)', only serves to maintain that separation and real relationship with another person and the actual expression of myself. I see/realize/understand that under the pretenses of avoiding conflict, any abuse is allowed to proliferate as it will be kept unchecked. - I commit myself to investigate the reasons why I have decided to choose specific people to please, and why I would try to protect a certain 'nice guy' or 'pleasing' image to them. I commit myself to be aware and stop any deliberate acts of attempting to please another being for the sake of my own validation and positive feelings or protection of an image. I commit myself to develop a dialogue and an equal relationship to the other person that I seek validation from. I commit myself to face the conflict in my world, and resolve any disagreements, so that I can expand myself and my relationship with others in equality, for a world that is best for all.

When and as I see myself go into the fear of another judging me as being less than, I stop and I breathe, and I remain in the moment as the expression of who I am. I see/realize/understand firstly that I have not equalized myself to this person and am living in separation with them through judgment of them as more than. I see/realize/understand that in judging them as more than for specific attributes, I am in fact showing myself how I have judged others in my life as less than, for appearing to not have those same attributes. I see/realize/understand that I am in fact living out and becoming that in which I have judged, the polarity boomeranging back and forth, between 'more than' and 'less than'. I see/realize/understand that unless I do not equalize myself with all others in my world, I will continue to boomerang back and forth, back and forth between the judgments of myself compared to others as 'more than' and 'less than'. - I commit myself to stop the constant rattle of the mind that would try to wonder, then predict, then worry what another may be thinking and judging of me, in the realization that I am in fact participating simply in my own thoughts/projections that I have created, and it would actually be impossible to know just what they may be judging of me, unless I was fully in their shoes and their mind. I commit myself to stop the projections of myself being more than, or less than another in a certain situation, and instead, stop and breathe, and realize that I am here with this person as myself, as I am seeing them and interpreting them through my own mind, in the realization that any judgment/separation of this other person as my own interpretation serves only to create the platform of that in which I will later live out, which shows that I really do not have self-directive principle over my actions and instead live by the movement of the boomerang of polarity. I commit myself to investigate relationships that I have created in polarity with others in my world, to see where I have abdicated my living in favour of the boomerang of judgment.


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