Bernard passed away a few days ago and to reflect on some of
my memories and past experiences, it’s really a mixed bag. I read so many heartfelt responses to his
death and such beautiful kind words towards the way that he lived his life,
which is quite impressive from my perspective.
I remember first hearing Bernard’s raspy hard voice, and it
pricked me in a way, because I have always been fascinated with sounds and
especially the sounds of others voices, but this one was so different.
His was this hard piercing, raspy voice that hit you hard, nothing like
what I’d had ever experienced; mostly though because of the words that he said
and the unshakeable conviction that he held in each and every sound of it.
He talked about things that nobody talked about and said
things that nobody in their right mind would ever say. And the reason that people didn’t say those things
is because you didn’t shake things up.
People know not to shake things up with others, because it doesn’t make
you any friends and people start to get upset and turn against the source of
the shaking. But you can’t shake back
the unshakeable, and that’s what Bernard did.
Shake people, to wake them up.
The status quo and rampant abuse in this world was getting shaken up,
and he was doing it simply with words.
Incredible. Incredible how the
rattling just with using certain words in certain places.
I did not get to meet Bernard personally, and always feared
it somehow, which really showed my own self-dishonesty within myself, as I was
showing myself that I was not doing enough for this world, like he did. I feared how he would tear me to shreds
simply through his words. Really he
would just hurt my ego, which somehow I describe as being ripped to shreds.
At one point, paranoia struck me and I really started to
believe that I was being scammed out of my money through the DIP course and
other ways I would support Desteni and Destonians financially, which is ironic
because the DIP course helped me to see the dishonesty in this and really
supported and assist me in clearing myself to pave the way for a world that is
best for all. I imagined Bernard not
doing anything for humanity because I didn’t see it with my own eyes, and even
though I had never made the effort to go to the farm to meet him, I still
judged him and made up a story in my mind about him. Even though there is no actual proof of any
of this. I just make shit up by getting
ideas through brutal news articles or movies and books. I justified my idea’s/thoughts/imaginations
because I could not fathom that there could be a man out there that will
literally do everything that they could possibly do for this world to stop the
abuse. Probably because I am so abusive
within myself. My desires to full-fill
my self-interest seem unshakeable, and I give away my unshakeable beingness to
something separate from myself that I see as unshakeable. I now accept and allow myself to
see/realize/understand that I am equal to and one with my world, and when I see
an unshakeable desire within myself, I can be that unshakeable as well, yet
unshakeable here as life and the support of it in what is best for all. That is what Bernard has shown me through his
living example, that will always remain unshakeable. Gifting self back to self to really live what
is best for all.
Even though I have let my paranoia get the best of me,
Bernards resolve in sorting out this world’s mess has paved the way for me to
do the same. And it makes sense clearly
to me when others have said that although Bernard as an individual being is
gone, Bernard as who and what he stood for will always remain. His example has been engrained and etched
within the walls of myself for eternity.
We will move together and ‘get this done’, one step at a time, breath by
breath.
No comments:
Post a Comment