After a night sleep, it’s easier to now reflect on exactly
what happened with the fight/squabble that I had with my partner.
I see that the blame towards her has kicked up a notch. All
which represents that which I have not accepted and allowed myself to take
responsibility in myself for.
- -
My partner is not stable and is thus sabotaging
our relationship
-
- My partner is trying to manipulate and spite me,
so that she can 'win' and be better
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
believe the backchat towards my partner, instead of see/realizing/understanding
that the blame within the backchat is actually a true depiction of myself that
I have projected onto my partner, so that I can hide the fact of who I am.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
separate myself from the projected blame towards my partner and allowed myself
to whole heartedly believe it, instead of accepting and allowing myself to
question the source of this backchat, and ask why this blame only comes when I
am angry.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself
to see/realize/understand why it is that I am angry and project anger and blame
towards my partner in a moment, instead of accepting and allowing myself to
investigate the source, and properly direct myself in the moment to a solution
that is best for all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
not realize that I am equal to and one with my partner, and the way that I
treat my partner will be reflected back onto me through manifested consequences
in my world and reality.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself
to treat my partner as I would treat myself in the principles of equality and
oneness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
give up my self-direction to emotions/feelings/thoughts/back-chat/internal
conversations/imaginations/fears, instead of accepting and allowing myself to
remain stable in the moment and direct the point accordingly in what is best
for all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
project blame and anger onto my partner, in order to hide a part of myself from
my myself, instead of accepting and allowing myself to take responsibility for
myself.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself
to see/realize/understand that I was in fact not stable in the moment with my
partner, when directing the point of conflict.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself
to see/realize/understand that the way I would like to be treated is to have a
partner that is stable and moving themselves without being directed by
emotions/feelings/thoughts/fears/imaginations/backchat/internal conversations.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself
to see/realize/understand that I was in fact trying to manipulate and spite my
partner, because I convinced myself that she was responsible for the shitty way
that I felt in the moment.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself
to see/realize/understand that I felt shitty in the moment because I took some
things personally that she said in the moment.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to
see/realize/understand that my own manipulation and spite towards my
partner was ultimately to feel better about myself and 'win', so to
speak.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
attempt to ‘get back’ at my partner and try to make her feel the same shitty
way that I felt.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself
to see/realize/understand how destructive it is to my world to spite another
person when you feel that they have ‘put you down’.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself
to see/realize/understand that when I believe that another is able to ‘put me
down’, I am showing myself in fact how manipulated and controlled I am by my
own mind, as I don’t even have directive authority over the way I feel, as if
I’m just being tossed around in a cage, instead of accepting and allowing
myself to make the choice of stability and self-directive principle over the
way that I experience the world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
believe that my partner was trying to ‘put me down’ and succeeded, instead of
accepting and allowing myself to take responsibility for the experiences within
my own life, in the realization that everything that I experience passes
through the filter of the mind and am responsible for accepting and allowing
this.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
take comments from my partner personal, instead of accepting and allowing
myself to remain stable in the moment and taking back directive authority over
the way that I experience this world.
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